Visited the docs today on account of never ending medical problems and when in the chemist spotted a sign which offered a chiropractor in store that day.
So went down to meet him, but came away feeling more confused than ever. First off, I noticed he was very very touchy feely... definitely a no-no in a medical practioner. You may, afterall, have to get your kit off for them at some point. At their request.
After touching and rubbing my leg over and over I was waiting for him to ask me to strip to my bra. This he didn't do, thankfully, but he did manage to get me in a back to front bear hug with my hand dangling near his nether regions. Shudder.
He took some snaps of me (for medical purposes) uploaded them onto a computer and lo and behold... showed me I have the spine of a monkey. Or at least an ape. Or possibly the hunchback of Notre Dame (is he an ape?)
Appalled, he told me my right shoulder hangs below my left, my spine is twisted and this could all be causing the numerous kidney infections I suffer, not to mention the constant and excruciating back pain.
I am a monkey. A deformed monkey. How could this have happened? Is it bad genes? Bad posture? Too heavy school bags? Sitting at a desk all day?
Anyway he says he can fix it in about forty visits. Forty! He kept promising me this and that and I sat there with a face on cos I don't like to think somebody is manipulating my deformity into a sales pitch.
And I don't know whether I should go back to him to have it seen to. It'd cost a couple of grand and there's no guarantee he would fix me. I've had experience of chiropractors before and I really did think they were taking the mickey with the amount of money they expected me to hand over for a tiny tap on a few vetebrae, THREE TIMES A WEEK!
But I'm in pain. And I don't like looking like a monkey. A monkey who will possibly end up in nappies the way the kidleys are going. So I'll mull it over and study the charts he printed out of my twisted spine.
In other news, have sorted out d'mother's pressie methinks. Thinking of sending her to a spa where they offer lovely massages and facials and stuff, but best of all, hair and make-up done! She'll be delighted. The bro and da have offered (been told) to chip in so it's all good.
Well, guess it's time to retire from the office (it is 8pm afterall)
Amarach,
(Humpy) Ladysinger
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Hello to you
Hate: Smudgy foggy glasses
Like: My new juicing machine
Complaint of the Day: Put my back out yesterday bending down to pick up a lead that had fallen of my laptop. Never knew blogging could be so dangerous
See the Sunday Indo have big spread in Life magazine this weekend on.... D4 girls posing. Since when is it news that D4 girls pose? Course they’re not called D4 girls anymore but ‘SoCoDu Bebo Queens’. Yuck.
Bebo's biggset downfall (apart from the addiction part) has to be the spurning of an ever posing, camera at the ready, I need to prove how good-looking and fun I am, generation.
Saw it at close hand a few weeks ago, when myself and two mates headed to a bar with my mate’ sisters’ friends. They ignored the band for most of the night to instead concentrate on the far more interesting ‘themselves’. Posing throughout the night as superman, superwoman, fierce, angry, girly, pretty, drunky, dancey, they snapped and snapped until the memory card was full.
Sure enough, the next day, all the photos were on bebo for themselves to look at – a good night had by all!
Maybe I’m jealous cos they’re prettier than I am, but to me, a good night out should at least involve a bit of chat with other people. A photo here and there to remember the good times is fine. But 372 of the same night out?
It took me about two weeks to sort through and throw up a few images of myself on my bebo page. They crossed the world a few times on various holidays and of course I edited to make sure only my most flattering images appeared. I reckon that’s normal though. I don’t think it’s normal for the purpose of your night out to be how many cute pictures of yourself you can take. And that’s my bebo rant for today.
Back to work tomorrow after a whole week off. Depression! I’ve kinda decided though that I need to lighten up, to learn to switch off and to realise that there’s more to life than the rat race blah blah blah. For the sake of my relationship I need to. We all need to unwind, and this usually involves me biting my other half’s head off. Obviously unfair. Obviously uncalled for.
Looking forward to meeting up with the heads from Australia Paddy’s weekend. Something that never occurred to me however was that it is Mam’s 50th the same weekend and she’s booked a meal for us the day after Paddy’s Day. Now being an uncaring, self-obsessed daughter, I had totally forgot about her birthday and I had planned to spend the whole weekend with my friends – but she is the woman who gave birth to me afterall. So guess it’ll be drinky drinky all day Saturday and eatey eatey, pretendy not be hungover on Sunday. What can I get for her birthday though. A spa weekend?
Suppose I better go to sleep. Prepare for the return to the rat race. Sigh.
Ladysinger
Like: My new juicing machine
Complaint of the Day: Put my back out yesterday bending down to pick up a lead that had fallen of my laptop. Never knew blogging could be so dangerous
See the Sunday Indo have big spread in Life magazine this weekend on.... D4 girls posing. Since when is it news that D4 girls pose? Course they’re not called D4 girls anymore but ‘SoCoDu Bebo Queens’. Yuck.
Bebo's biggset downfall (apart from the addiction part) has to be the spurning of an ever posing, camera at the ready, I need to prove how good-looking and fun I am, generation.
Saw it at close hand a few weeks ago, when myself and two mates headed to a bar with my mate’ sisters’ friends. They ignored the band for most of the night to instead concentrate on the far more interesting ‘themselves’. Posing throughout the night as superman, superwoman, fierce, angry, girly, pretty, drunky, dancey, they snapped and snapped until the memory card was full.
Sure enough, the next day, all the photos were on bebo for themselves to look at – a good night had by all!
Maybe I’m jealous cos they’re prettier than I am, but to me, a good night out should at least involve a bit of chat with other people. A photo here and there to remember the good times is fine. But 372 of the same night out?
It took me about two weeks to sort through and throw up a few images of myself on my bebo page. They crossed the world a few times on various holidays and of course I edited to make sure only my most flattering images appeared. I reckon that’s normal though. I don’t think it’s normal for the purpose of your night out to be how many cute pictures of yourself you can take. And that’s my bebo rant for today.
Back to work tomorrow after a whole week off. Depression! I’ve kinda decided though that I need to lighten up, to learn to switch off and to realise that there’s more to life than the rat race blah blah blah. For the sake of my relationship I need to. We all need to unwind, and this usually involves me biting my other half’s head off. Obviously unfair. Obviously uncalled for.
Looking forward to meeting up with the heads from Australia Paddy’s weekend. Something that never occurred to me however was that it is Mam’s 50th the same weekend and she’s booked a meal for us the day after Paddy’s Day. Now being an uncaring, self-obsessed daughter, I had totally forgot about her birthday and I had planned to spend the whole weekend with my friends – but she is the woman who gave birth to me afterall. So guess it’ll be drinky drinky all day Saturday and eatey eatey, pretendy not be hungover on Sunday. What can I get for her birthday though. A spa weekend?
Suppose I better go to sleep. Prepare for the return to the rat race. Sigh.
Ladysinger
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