Back trouble

Visited the docs today on account of never ending medical problems and when in the chemist spotted a sign which offered a chiropractor in store that day.

So went down to meet him, but came away feeling more confused than ever. First off, I noticed he was very very touchy feely... definitely a no-no in a medical practioner. You may, afterall, have to get your kit off for them at some point. At their request.

After touching and rubbing my leg over and over I was waiting for him to ask me to strip to my bra. This he didn't do, thankfully, but he did manage to get me in a back to front bear hug with my hand dangling near his nether regions. Shudder.

He took some snaps of me (for medical purposes) uploaded them onto a computer and lo and behold... showed me I have the spine of a monkey. Or at least an ape. Or possibly the hunchback of Notre Dame (is he an ape?)

Appalled, he told me my right shoulder hangs below my left, my spine is twisted and this could all be causing the numerous kidney infections I suffer, not to mention the constant and excruciating back pain.

I am a monkey. A deformed monkey. How could this have happened? Is it bad genes? Bad posture? Too heavy school bags? Sitting at a desk all day?

Anyway he says he can fix it in about forty visits. Forty! He kept promising me this and that and I sat there with a face on cos I don't like to think somebody is manipulating my deformity into a sales pitch.

And I don't know whether I should go back to him to have it seen to. It'd cost a couple of grand and there's no guarantee he would fix me. I've had experience of chiropractors before and I really did think they were taking the mickey with the amount of money they expected me to hand over for a tiny tap on a few vetebrae, THREE TIMES A WEEK!

But I'm in pain. And I don't like looking like a monkey. A monkey who will possibly end up in nappies the way the kidleys are going. So I'll mull it over and study the charts he printed out of my twisted spine.

In other news, have sorted out d'mother's pressie methinks. Thinking of sending her to a spa where they offer lovely massages and facials and stuff, but best of all, hair and make-up done! She'll be delighted. The bro and da have offered (been told) to chip in so it's all good.

Well, guess it's time to retire from the office (it is 8pm afterall)

Amarach,

(Humpy) Ladysinger